You know you’ve multiple kids when …

Standard

• 6am wake up is a cause for celebration

• You turn up early to the next thing rather than go home and take kids out the car because by time you’ve done that it’s time to put them back in

  • Despite acting like a nodding dog all evening you make yourself stay up just long enough to convince yourself you have me time
  • Suspicious stains on your clothes are shrugged off as might be poo it might not be
  • New clothes become old clothes after one wear
  • The house is NEVER quiet and if it is they are either asleep when not meant to be, causing trouble or you passed out!
  • As soon as one is being good and quiet another starts!
  • Looking at someone is cause for a fight……. as is existing
  • You learn to let some things (ok everything) go because no one actually listens
  • There is less space anywhere especially sitting space
  • Bum and poo is mentioned every other sentence
  • There is more fun and laughter
  • There are more hugs

 

Advertisements

Brothers

Standard

Sometimes brothers are great…. L reading to R even though L can’t read yet.

Sometimes there is love…

……..Hugs…….

…….. and fun!

Sometimes they unite and look darn cute doing it.

Sometimes there’s a bit of rivalry (look at me R… NOooo look at ME!!!)

But at end of the day we like to be apart because we all hate each other, we don’t want to share and the only nice brother we have is a baby.

How deceptive are pictures. My day with a 9 year old, 4 year old and nearly 10 week old consists of moods from the pre teen, screams from the preschooler and the odd moan from the baby because he got woken up again.

Daylight is reserved for noise and nighttime is reserved for tiredly staring at the TV.

Late nights just to get some peace and early mornings because weekends are same as any other days.

The oddest part I keep adding kids … voluntarily and I don’t even drink!!

From 1 to 2, 2 to 4

Standard

Going from 1 to 2 kids was hard!! I would say harder than going from none to 1. With one you have all the time to rest, you only have yourself to feed and no urgency to getting dressed most days.

Suddenly with 2 you have a school run to perform EVERY day and even when you’re not doing that the little darling enjoys his early mornings.

When you no longer have one in a pram its like playing that game where you have to hit the lights and they are always opposite ends of the board! Mix in sleep deprivation and its like a mini workout daily.

Going from 2 to 4 kids was in some ways easy. I got this, I’m not worried if you don’t sleep or eat. I have learnt patience and I know this won’t last forever. Even the fact we’re officially outnumbered is fine. We got this.

But going on to have 4 children knowing my 3rd isn’t with us has made this a unique experience.

I worry more about death, I worry more about the speed in which time passes and I feel guilt at wanting some time to myself like I can’t miss a single moment.

Best bit my partner is no longer phased when I say one more?

Raising Veggies

Standard

This week a subject came up about vegetarian children and the choice being forced upon them by parents. Some suggested it was unfair and the child needs a good meal in them suggesting meat!

I admit I got offended by this not only because it’s no-one else’s business but largely due to fact both my children were veggie till age 2. With my first I was vegetarian myself and despite craving ham I stayed away and when he got to weaning age he was fed veggie options.

In general he was a fussy eater so by age 2 I started giving him meat. My own mum would feed him mince and I would make him fish. His diet improved as did his eating habits.

Along came child number 2 and he isn’t meat eater at all. He enjoys a ham sandwich but otherwise prefers non meat meals including substitutes he’s just not that into it.

For our children it was partly our choice partly theirs. My eldest eats meat at school and gets the occasional bit of chicken at home. Youngest eats only ham sandwiches. Both are very healthy children with no health issues.

The second thing to consider is the enforcement of this diet by parents. What is so wrong with educating our children? At some point all children ask where does my sausage come from? Most don’t comprehend what that means but you get a veggie child who instead asks why are we/others vegetarian and you open a whole different subject.

Alina from We Made This Life agrees stating many told her she was forcing this onto her children but she asks aren’t meat eaters technically doing the same? Where the rule in the ‘How to be a human handbook’ that states we MUST eat meat?

Without going into detail you can explain and give them a much more informed decision about  others choices. Many parents I know give the child a choice about eating meat and many of these children chose to not eat it. Nicholas (from Global Mouse Travels) children are offered meat but say no

Kate’s Daughter from Living life our Way chose to go vegetarian herself! Kate herself wasn’t veggie and her daughters choice actually taught her and changed her eating habits. If a child chooses this step is it better somehow?

Milla from Live Oxfordshire is meat eater but offers her children a large amount of vegetarian foods compared to other meat-eating households may and as a result her child just like mine is showing preference to veggie food.

The other thing to consider when questioning our motives is surely our children wouldn’t eat it is they didn’t like it?

Not to get graphic but  a few years ago a child I looked after ate meat but was constipated basically all the time when her family swapped to more veggie meals this sorted itself. This is yet another factor no doctor will advise large meat intake for a child struggling in that way just as no doctor will say you MUST feed your child any meat at all!

Emma at Canny Food has written an article about a similar subject but she brings up her child Vegan which is includes no dairy products. (click her blog name to write the post). She also states she is in full contact with her doctor and a dietician and they have no issue with her choices due to her baby being healthy!

Jennifer over at My Mummies Pennies is the child who chose to go veggie at age 11. It’s just a phase, she’ll stop soon well she’s now 21 years later and I’m pretty sure the definition of a phase doesn’t cover 2 decades. She however decided her children could eat meat due to her husband being a meat eater yet they incorporate 3-4 meals a week that have no meat , because lets face it who wants to make 2 lots of meals 7 days a week!

Jenny at The Brick Castle is one the people I spoke to whose children are now adults. She says all 3 were brought up veggie and 2 have chosen to stay veggie! Children who were brought up this way, healthily, spoken to carefully about this choice and it’s resulted in adults who have stuck by that choice!!

One of my own decisions to not cook much meat at home is partly down to fact I’m not very good at it. I can’t add it to every meal and was never taught how. Fee at One of Each agrees if her veggie children chose to eat meat she wouldn’t be sure about cooking it. You could argue we aren’t teaching them to cook responsibly and it’s an important skill but how many of the meat-eating readers can say they could make a vegetarian meal they haven’t seen before and not include pastry and cheese in it ! Fee also states it made sense for her to raise her children to be veggie than to feed them meat and the children regret that choice later on if they decide to stay veggie.

Another family with children given meat and veggie option where one chooses meat and one choose veggie is Mummy’s Little Stars. They eat regular Quorn based meals as well as the odd ham sarnie and pepperoni pizza.

Katie at Mummy in a Tutu has the situation were her and the child’s father spilt. She states that the dad allows their child to be vegetarian but she is adamant it must be her daughters decisions and not the parents.

I agree some parents are irresponsible and many just don’t have the education to feed a child a decent diet nevermind meat free.

Did you know the Food Standards for schools states that every school HAS to have at least one veggie option every day available? Does your local/child’s school offer vegetarian because they should be. This food standards is a government requirement.

None of us are saying meat eating is wrong everyone has openly said it is their choice and they don’t feel we as a race need meat to survive but we also don’t want to say you are wrong offer a chicken leg or a beef steak so why should we have to put up with opinionated comments.

It’s important to not confuse the news stories about vegan children dying due to their diet, or the local preschool kid who looks so skinny and pale purely because she needs a good meaty meal in her. I’m not denying it’s not diet related but simply feeding a child a sausage doesn’t solve health problems related to diet.

According to the NHS Eatwell Guide Protein is needed less than vegetables and carbohydrates. The guide states vegetables and carbohydrates should make up 33% each of your daily diet milk and other dairy being 15% and meat being only 12%.

Foods containing protein are:

Eggs, nuts, pulses, beans, tofu as well as meat. It is recommended to eat less red meat as too much can lead to bowel cancer and to eat lean meats that are lower in fat.

Other advantages to vegetarian diet are you have a naturally lower fat diet and often the protein alternatives are higher in protein that meat.

Whatever your choice we are all getting it right as long as our children are healthy and happy.

I can’t do this

Standard

Trying for a baby after a loss.

This is hard! I’m literally counting the days, analysing every twinge.

I go through waves of happiness, waves of anxiety, waves of grief and waves of overwhelming fear.

When I was trying and other rainbow mums would say how difficult the pregnancy is. How they weren’t in a better or happier place because they had fear now. They could lose another

I often thought yes but you are in a better place as you have hope and something to look forward to.

Now I know what they meant but you know I still feel the same way it is hard but its harder being without.

So many mums don’t get a rainbow, so many do but have to wait a long time for it and others get it very quickly.

I’ve found the time waiting has been good in a way to grieve and move past that initial stage of grief the stage that wants you to be pregnant again RIGHT NOW!

I’ve been able to separate the pregnancies and want this baby for itself not for its healing or its hope. But it’s been a hard journey to here. Full of despair, foggy brain days, strong days, weak days, angry days. The end is not near but it’s coming and I know I’m the lucky one.

Until then I often feel I can’t do this. I often think of my daughter how it’s unfair she didn’t just get her chance to live. How technically this baby shouldn’t exist because had she lived she was to be my last. It’s a strange feeling having your last and then doing it all again knowing this baby was never meant to be and by some twisted fate they are.

I think of how we thought it would all be ok and wasn’t. I don’t know this will work out I may be devastated once again.

I think about how I wish I hadn’t wanted this because the fear is real. Noone can help me because they either don’t understand, don’t want to talk about it or have already done it and lost the ability to help.

Worse part there’s nothing I can do!

Rainbow-