What NOT to say to someone who is pregnant

Standard
  • You got a baby now you shouldn’t be upset
  • It could be worse you could still be trying
  • Well you’ve only got the pregnancy to worry about I have the rest of the baby’s life to worry
  • You’re not allowed to complain
  • Think positive it’ll be ok (you can’t know this)
  • Never tell them of the person next door, or the daughter of the person you worked with who lost a baby EVER! we know people lose babies………
  • Well I tried longer than you
  • Oh I’m not going to do that as may harm baby but you go ahead
  • Infact just say nothing except congratulations… it’s easier
  • Do you feel silly for thinking you’d never have a baby now?
  • Do you feel ashamed for being so upset whilst trying?

These are all things said to me in the past! Shocking really

Good things to say are

  • How are you feeling?
  • If you get scared or worried I’m happy to listen
  • Do you need anything? A shoulder, an ear, a driver?
  • Be positive act like they never lost a baby but also don’t brush it off if they bring it up or seem concerned
  • Be there, check in often, be open
  • Don’t pretend to know what to say but don’t ignore them or pretend they don’t exist either

 

 

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