- You got a baby now you shouldn’t be upset
- It could be worse you could still be trying
- Well you’ve only got the pregnancy to worry about I have the rest of the baby’s life to worry
- You’re not allowed to complain
- Think positive it’ll be ok (you can’t know this)
- Never tell them of the person next door, or the daughter of the person you worked with who lost a baby EVER! we know people lose babies………
- Well I tried longer than you
- Oh I’m not going to do that as may harm baby but you go ahead
- Infact just say nothing except congratulations… it’s easier
- Do you feel silly for thinking you’d never have a baby now?
- Do you feel ashamed for being so upset whilst trying?
These are all things said to me in the past! Shocking really
Good things to say are
- How are you feeling?
- If you get scared or worried I’m happy to listen
- Do you need anything? A shoulder, an ear, a driver?
- Be positive act like they never lost a baby but also don’t brush it off if they bring it up or seem concerned
- Be there, check in often, be open
- Don’t pretend to know what to say but don’t ignore them or pretend they don’t exist either